TOTAL SOLUTION TO DIVORCE,DIVORCE IN LEGAL PARLENCE,DIVORCE AND EMANCIPATION OF WOMAN,SOCIETAL VIOLENCE AND DIVORCE,EFFECT OF DIVORCE ON CHILDREN,DIVORCE IN MORDERN WORLD

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DIVORCE: ITS CONSEQUENCES AND CURE.
Divorce or dissolution of marriage is a legal process in which a judge or other authority dissolves the bonds of matrimony existing between two persons, thus restoring them to the marital status of being single. A divorce does not declare a marriage null and void, as in an annulment, but rather declares that a fully consummated marriage is irretrievably broken and that it should be dissolved, allowing the parties to marry other individuals.
Divorce laws vary considerably around the world. Divorce is not permitted in some countries, such as in Malta and in the Philippines, though an annulment is permitted.
The legal process for divorce may also involve issues of spousal support, child custody, child support, distribution of property and division of debt, though these matters are usually only ancillary or consequential to the dissolution of the marriage.
In some jurisdictions divorce does not require a party to claim fault of their partner that leads to the breakdown of marriage. But even in jurisdictions which have adopted the "no fault" principle in divorce proceedings, a court may still take into account the behaviour of the parties when dividing property, debts, evaluating custody, and support.
In most jurisdictions, a divorce must be certified by a court of law to become effective. The terms of the divorce are usually determined by the court, though they may take into account prenuptial agreements or postnuptial agreements, or simply ratify terms that the spouses may have agreed to privately. In the absence of agreement, a contested divorce may be stressful to the spouses and lead to expensive litigation. Less adversarial approaches to divorce settlements have recently emerged, such as mediation and collaborative divorce, which negotiate mutually acceptable resolution to conflicts. In some other countries, like Portugal, when the spouses agree to divorce and to the terms of the divorce, it can be certified by a non judiciary administrative entity, where also can be served an Electronic Divorce since March 2008. The effect of a divorce is that both parties are free to marry again.
In cases involving children, governments have a pressing interest in ensuring that disputes between parents do not spill over into the family courts. One way of doing this is through the encouragement of a parenting plan. In the United States, all states now require parents to file a parenting plan when they legally separate or divorce.
The subject of divorce as a social phenomenon is an important research topic in sociology. In many developed countries, divorce rates increased markedly during the twentieth century. Among the nations in which divorce has become commonplace are the United States, Canada, and Scandinavia. Japan , France, and Italy retain a lower divorce rate, and it has decreased recently.
In the present century, both these views prevail. It depends on which part of the planet you live in and in what kind of culture. Divorce rates are higher in European or American countries, where individual freedom is given higher stress, than in, say, Asian or African ones, where familial and social opinions cause higher stress. With globalization, of course, the ‘backward’ countries are catching up. Women, especially, with access to higher education and higher salaries, are less willing to put up with traditional roles and expectations. Social and cultural moralists are having a field day, predicting, like always, dire consequences for the ‘social fabric’. In my personal opinion, the social fabric can go stitch itself. No, divorce isn’t joy-inducing, but then neither is a corrosive marriage. In such a case, splitting up is preferable to staying together ‘for the children’ or to keep up social appearances. Anyway, it all really depends upon the kind of relationship you have. Some relationships are worth working on, some aren’t.

There are many different and complex causes and reasons for divorce, each of them specific to that particular couple’s marital relationship, their individual experiences and personal problems. None of them may seem ‘common’ to the people going through a divorce, of course, but many of the reasons recur enough to warrant the term.
In legal parlance, Divorce is when the husband and the wife decide to opt out of the marriage and need a legal sanction for it. I would say that it is the legal term for the separation that happens at quite an earlier stage. Yes legally it can only happen before the "death of any of them". Rates of divorce have increased manifold with women empowerment since they are now getting better and higher education and consequently higher salaries. No please do not think that I am against woman’s liberation, in fact I personally feel that the compatibility of two people should only be checked and should be considered valid when they are standing on the same ground.

One should not be on lower plane because that brings a kind of submission and humility without any conscious effort. Our grandmothers actually tolerated all kinds of temper tantrums because they could not find any other way to survive; in fact when I say, "survive", I mean exactly that since the socio-cultural circumstances were against women’s education and women working, though all of it is determined by the culture you belong to. Europeans do not really bother much about the social taboos but the Asian mindset still treats the divorcees as social outcasts. It is considered a sacrilege of the sacred institution of marriage.

Now I know this might sound controversial but I have a slightly different opinion regarding divorces that happen now, in the present times when the woman has all the independence and all the liberties to choose the man she wants to get married and men always had that privilege, still people fall in love, live in for some time, get married and then file for divorce. Now how does that make sense? No not the divorce the marriage at the first place. Wouldn’t you call it lack of "understanding" and then lack of "patience"? No, I just can’t defend my generation when it comes to this. We claim to be much more matured and practical than our forefathers then how can we indulge in such unwise and time consuming activities.

Some Causes of Divorce

Let us talk some facts here now. Some of the primary causes of divorce are as follows:
• Workaholism- this is the reason, which leads to around 6% of divorces.
• Family Strains-This leads to around 18% of all the divorces.
• Abuse (Physical or emotional)-This leads to 17% of divorces.
• Extramarital Affairs- Now this is interesting, this reason leads to approximately 27% of divorces.
• Addiction to alcohol and drugs- This leads to approximately 13% of all the divorces.
• Mid-life Crisis-This leads to 13% of all the divorces.
So now it is evident that the reason that leads to the maximum number of divorces is disloyalty. Isn’t that actually sacrilege? If we live in a society and call ourselves civilized, why not behave like civilized people. Civilization teaches us to be restricted, and some restrictions are required. You can let your "Id" take over on you. It makes no sense that you lived with somebody for ten or fifteen years and since you do not like being with him or her anymore you want to leave him. One day this way we would like to have free society and free world where power would rule and not wisdom. Children out of these broken marriages would not have a healthy psychological childhood and that would lead to severe adjustment problems in youngsters. They would fail to do anything positive and you can’t blame them because you did not give them a healthy environment to grow. They lived in emotional strife and strife is what they can create. Do you still want the societal system to crash and collapse?

Research done on the causes of divorce reveals that:
• Lack of communication is one of the leading causes of divorce. A marriage is on the rocks when the lines of communication fail. You can’t have an effective relationship if either one of you won’t discuss your feelings, can’t talk about your mutual or personal issues, will keep your resentments simmering under wraps, and expect your partner to guess what the whole problem is about.
• Divorces often happen because people rarely discuss their expectations in detail prior to marriage, are less willing to work on their marriages afterwards, and would like quick solutions rather than having to resolve issues. People have gotten divorced for trivial reasons like snoring.
• People who come from divorced homes are more likely to get divorced than people who come from happily married households. Divorce seems less like a big deal if you have seen your parents go through with it.
• People who get married between the ages of 23-27 are more likely to stay together than people who get married in their teens.
• People who cohabit before marriage have higher rates of divorce than people who didn’t cohabit before marriage.
• In many cases, quite a few of the problems that cause divorce have existed in the couple’s relationship long before they got married. The problems were either not acknowledged or were ignored in the fond hope that marriage might offer a miraculous panacea. And, guess what, it doesn’t. Nobody can make you feel better about yourself and you can’t change and save anybody. As someone wise once said, it takes two wholes to make a marriage, not two halves.
One of the most difficult transitional periods in a child’s life is to go through the experience of their parents divorcing each other. While the effects of divorce may be different on children according to their stage of development, age, and gender, research has shown that despite reconciliation efforts via family counselling, most children suffer during and after the process. When their parents divorce, children feel as if their stability, their security, and their world are all falling apart.


The Behavioural Aspects of the Effects of Divorce on Children

Children can display a wide range of behavioural changes due to experiencing the traumatic effects of divorce, from difficulty in sleeping to highly harmful behaviour like violence, drug abuse, and sometimes even suicide

Some of the other behaviours can include regressive behavioural patterns like using comfort items, displaying fears, and bed-wetting, as well as repetitive physical behaviours, nervous habits, and problems in school.

They can become whiny and clingy and require greater attention and understanding of their behaviour and moods. This is the period when they require greater emotional nurturance.

Many children feel that they must take care of their divorced parent. One of the widespread behavioural characteristics displayed by children of divorced parents is to take on the care of emotionally disturbed parents.

There is often a common misconception about the natural resilience of children and their ability to cope with a divorce without it having much impact on their lives. As a matter of fact, most children require supportive people as well as support systems to help them cope and come to terms with the changes that are brought about, especially during the transitional period.

The panacea to Divorce.

Divorce appears to be the new tendency in marriages these days. The entire globe appears to have jumped on the bandwagon which is endlessly being caused by split-ups in the entertainment industry. The holiness of wedlock is being sacrificed and it has turned into a marketplace for divorce-driven objects such as divorce attorneys.

A great many people believe that obtaining a divorce is the sole means to pull out of a distressed relationship. However, as the wonderful philosopher Aristotle said, "There is always a third option." Regarding individuals that believe that obtaining a divorce is the same thing as being contented, try thinking it through again. A current study that was lead by Ms. Linda Waite of the University of Chicago disclosed that divorced individuals are not any happier. An additional even more amazing reality that was uncovered by the research is that 67% of the individuals that became distressed about their marriages later stated that they were happy in their marriages five years later. Her group additionally discovered that a preponderance of devotedly wedded pairs had undergone long durations of sadness in their unions. The distinction is that the pair remained with the relationship and discovered answers to their difficulties.

Matrimony is designed to connect the inner souls of two individuals together. The marriage loses its holiness in the complete circumstance of splitting up. There exist more methods than one to stop divorce. Listed below are a few valuable points that someone can use in trying to rescue their marriage.

-Communication is the Key
Virtually all differences advance to fights as a result of the absence of communication. A few pairs merely discuss chores and projects. Maintaining an open line of communication would maintain the frankness in the relationship and prevent concealed perceptions that could prod significant emotional harm.

-There Are No Perfect Relationships
The fundamental lessons of economics dictate to us that any time we remain with one thing, we are consistently excluding something else. Divorces are commonly spurred by unfaithfulness and third-party affairs. Keep in mind that no relationship is perfect. Problems between marriage partners is no reason for unfaithfulness, actually it ought to make their relationship stronger.

Look For Assistance
In case everything else does not work the way you hoped it would and you have attempted to solve the difficulty between the pair of you, seek outside help. There exist professional marriage counsellors that are able to help marriage partners with problems to get back on the right track. There’s no harm in seeking assistance.

Keep in mind that divorce has its penalties, which include tremendous monetary losses. Even more significantly, it taints marriage and completely finishes relationships. What it comes down to is that if there is more than sufficient love that exists within a home, divorce will not ever rear it ugly head.
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